I had a thought couple weeks ago that I wanted to write down. It was a moment of refletion, when you stop your mind machine, and just go and think why you think the way you think.

I was having a walk nerby, luckly I forgot my headphones so I had to think. Lately I had some issues with my mindset, some insecurities and things that made me feel bad, so as a good overthinker I just decide to go deeper on those thoughts to see what was happening, and then I notice where my creativity is coming from.

As I already mention, I’m a overthinker. Sounds like I think a lot, but it’s more than that. My mind is the type of mind that when its feeling released, it seeks what is pending, what is wrong, what I have left to solve to make me think “Hey look, you can’t be that happy because of this!”. Sometimes, suddenly during the day I get the shoot from my mind with these kind of thoughts. What my mind does is think in what I don’t know, the premise, the beggining to start to think. For example, when I go for a walk I’m thinking on what’s going on around me, the people and things that I should notice as the distance between the cars and me, the distance between the people and me, if where I’m steping is ok to step.

I feel overwhelmed sometimes. There’s a lot of things I think automaticly.

Then when my mind discovers that there is a thing I don’t know, it starts to think to understand the options that can happend. I mentioned the distance between the cars and me and the speed: so I think: “Well, that car is coming fast, I should wait, but the person across the street is about to cross, so if the car needs to turn to skip the person, probably will go against me, so I should move couple steps away”. And notice things like that happens many times per minute with different situations.

So my mind has that necesity of fill the blank spaces inside. To fill the things it doesn’t know because what kill my mind is the Unknown.

Tha’s why is so hard to me take the risk, but I notice that it’s not just bad. For the good things works too. That’s where my creativity comes from.

I think in a situation: “What happen if the future electricity is made with air and there is a war for the air” and my mind start the engine and it doesn’t stop to get barely an answer.

Inside my mind there’s a debate, I always think in both sides, I mean: if I’m pro some thing, or against, I just list the reasons I can win a debate with. And then I think how can I break my own reasons, so I found always the gaps in my speech and I improve it.